The day I shot myself…Episode 2

After the shot went off into my chest I slid down to a sitting position with my back against the outer wall of the bath tub. As my strength dissipated I gradually slouched until I was lying on my back. Someone entered the bathroom, I think it was my brother. At this stage I was feeling very calm and comfortable as though I was about to fall asleep. The bulky rehab councilor  and my brother carried me to the car and headed for the nearest medical clinic with my parents in tow. It was about seven in the evening. Apparently the doctors and nurses did not want to treat me as my case was too serious for a small general practice clinic. An ambulance was called to take me to the emergency section of the nearest hospital. My body was clearly in shock because I didn’t feel any pain, just a heaviness on my chest. There was no blood flowing out of my body – the bleeding happened internally. It was at the clinic that my shirt was cut open and a syringe nearly as thick as my pinky finger was plunged through my chest plate with great force (I didn’t feel much of this either). The injection was adrenaline and it jolted me awake in an instant. I hadn’t been unconscious but I was drifting ever deeper in a semi-conscious state. Soon I was in the ambulance. What I remember from the trip was the one paramedic casually telling the other “this one’s not gonna make it”. I was fully alert from the adrenaline shot and I remember thinking at the time that I’d prove him wrong.

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