Yesterday I had some unstructured time on my hands. I decided to do something productive. I worked out my new monthly budget and I wrote up my last will and testament. The first excercise was pretty depressing. After all my expenses and the prescribed percentage allocated to saving, I just broke even, without there being additional money to spend “on myself”. Trying my best to not fall into a negative thinking pattern right away I reasoned that if my household was a company it would at least be profitable. This unusual positive thinking actually worked for me (or softened the blow at least). Still my mind keeps calculating ways to grow the revenue and/or cut the expenses. I still don’t know what “enough” would look and feel like. Nature of the beast I guess.
The second task was more fun as I got to play with all the scenarios of death and life in my family. What if my wife was also dead when I died? Then the money would go to the kids but what if they were still too young to take the legal responsibility? Then a trustee needed to be found and how do you nominate the right person? If both my kids are also dead then I felt the right thing to do would be to let it go to my parents (since I’d cost them a helluva lot growing up and even more in my wasted early twenties). If they are both gone then it goes to my brother and if he’s dead then to the maid’s young son. I can recommend drawing up a will yourself because it makes you realise who the priorities in your life are and what your earthly posessions position looks like. It is cleansing in a sense and I felt my life was now more complete: neatly packaged even after I’m gone. You can go mad and leave specific items to specific people if you want to (and even impose conditions so as to rule from the grave). For me I just don’t have the patience or sentimentality for that. And besides, my life and death is really not a big deal in the greater scheme of things.